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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382648">Years After Tears</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardewpages/pseuds/stardewpages'>stardewpages</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Light Angst, MSBY, Not Beta Read, Other, Tags Are Hard, bokuto feels down, kind of angst?, young bokuto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:48:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardewpages/pseuds/stardewpages</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto looks back on the time he asks one of his sisters for advice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bokuto &amp; his sisters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Years After Tears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first time he asked his sisters for help, his team had lost the first set and just barely made it through the last two. Bokuto always knew he could do better, his coach always told him practice makes perfect. He was always early, at least by thirty minutes, taking flying laps around the court, or working on serves. When he didn’t have practice he made use of the side of his house, doing whatever he can to get extra practice in. All he did was practice and somehow he wasn’t perfect, he hadn’t even touched the rim of being perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laid in his sister's lap staring at the wall. There were only so many times he could look over the same wall, taking in the faces of idols and his sisters' friends. They weren’t much older, sometimes Bokuto forgets the four year age difference. They were taller than him, the only thing keeping him from being around the same height was his hair, which his sisters helped him gel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His sister's room was slightly messy, clothes were thrown in a pile in the corner, their desk was covered with school work, textbooks left open on a random page that more than likely had nothing written. The bed was neatly made as the comforter rippled around their bodies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His sister kept a hand on his shoulder while he stayed still, going over everything that he could have done wrong in the game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did great ya know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn’t answer, nor did he look up from the wall. He knew what they said was true, he had done </span>
  <em>
    <span>well,</span>
  </em>
  <span> however well isn’t good enough, and talking his playing up to </span>
  <em>
    <span>great</span>
  </em>
  <span> isn’t good either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The way you broke those blockers was impressive, too bad their damn libero was waiting for it.” They shook their heads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not helping I know I’m bad,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their lips pressed into a fine line. They’ve watched Bokuto fret and judge his performance after games more times than they’d admit. With their rooms being right next to each other they heard him pacing and the room as he spewed insults into the air. They’ve heard it all. Sometimes they’d leave little notes under his door or making him cookies to make him feel better, but the cookies never stood a chance against their other sister and their parents. Then again, it wasn’t as if Bokuto would actually eat them, he cut back on a lot of sweets this year.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not bad Kou. You train hard and you constantly improve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto balled his fist and bit back tears. He knew he wasn’t anywhere close to what his sister said. He wasn’t improving, he was staying right where he started. If the other teams' libero could pick up his hits then what good was he to the team. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop lying,” He said between clenched teeth. “You know I’m not as good as the rest of the team. I’m useless if that stupid libero could pickup my hits then whos to say the next set of blockers won't be able to shut me out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kou,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I’m just not meant for this. Maybe I should tell mom and dad to withdraw me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pair sat in silence and searched for the words to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sliding up from his sister's lap he watched their face looking for a sign of lies, searching for something to make him believe they were just pacifying the boy's feelings. He wasn’t sure if it was how soft they looked at him even though his face was covered in snot and tears, or if it was how they waited patiently for him to speak, but he knew there was some truth in what they were saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sniffing, Bokuto wiped his nose on his sleeve, taking a deep breath in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do I get better, how do I become better and be the ace my team deserves?” The words came out choked and he struggled to keep his pitch even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Koutarou you’re already the ace tour team deserves, all that's left is to get stronger.” They wiped the tears from his red cheeks and gave him a warm smile. “You need to believe in yourself more, you’re already doing so well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was all those years ago and it became a ritual to go to his sister's room after games and see where he could improve. He had a lot to learn growing up, and as his sisters went off to college it was harder for them to keep in contact. They would send good luck texts before matches and show their support by buying merch, especially after he began playing for MSBY. It took a while for him to learn that he was a normal ace and there wasn’t something inherently special about him. He was him and that’s all that mattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow Bokuto couldn’t help but think the actual turning point in his career was crying on his sister's bed, asking how he could be the best ace in Japan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he wasn’t the best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, he was the best for his team, and that was all he could ask for.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
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